Today, our remote died. Brand new remote! We bought it only a couple months ago, and it crapped out! The light still comes on, but it won't change channels or turn off the tv. At first, I thought that I had to input the programming codes again. Annoying, but not really a big deal. Come to find out, someone had thrown away the manual. I won't mention this person my mom by name, but who the CRAP THROWS AWAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT? I even stuck it in the sidetable drawer so no one WOULD throw it away! All I could find was an old old old manual for an ancient remote that died approximately 9 years ago. Like that helps.

So I turned to my old friend Google. *pets Google*

Found the codes. Did a little victory dance. Reinputted the codes. And it still doesn't work. I tried some different codes, since these manuals give you fifty-bajillion to make sure you have one that actually works. I must have tried 10 different codes. Still doesn't work.

I know it's not the batteries, because before I even tried putting in the codes, I put in fresh batteries. No go there.

So now I am convinced that I have remote goblins who come into my house and fuck with my remotes. They use their sparkly mischievous goblin powers to screw with them.

Must compain yell at molest talk with the Goblin King about this matter. I'm sure his goblins are also stealing my underwear and moving around my keys. And possibly using up my shampoo. And writing obscene statements in the steam on my bathroom window.
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