Title: Why Gibbs Should Lock His Door
Word Count: ~2000
Pairing: Gibbs/DiNozzo
Rating: NC-17
Warnings and/or Spoilers: Just the usual warnings for a NC-17 rating. Spoilers for early fifth season.
Author's Notes: Since so many people asked for a continuation of sorts, here is another installment in the SNAFU!Sex Series. Yes, I have labeled it. Yes, you should be frightened. I'm also posting this at two in the morning, so you should be doubly frightened.
Summary: Someone unexpectedly drops by, and Gibbs and Tony are caught in a compromising position.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the lint in my pockets and a bookcase full of psychology and crime books.

“Uh, Gibbs?”

Gibbs grunted as he licked Tony's neck.

Tony shifted. “Shouldn't you lock the door?”

“Never seen a reason to before.” The licking turned to gentle biting, and Tony shivered.

“Well, um... we're kinda about to have sex on your couch.”

“Nope. We're not.” Another bite.

Tony blinked. “We're not?”

“Too old to have sex on the couch.” Another bite, harder this time, and Tony jumped.

Gibbs didn't stop.

“...are we gonna move soon then, Gibbs?”

“Hmmm...” Gibbs soothed the hurt of his bites with his tongue.

“Gibbs, I - uhhh...” Tony's brain fizzled out when Gibbs started to tongue his ear, and then Tony didn't give a flying fuck if anyone walked in, just as long as they didn't interrupt. Gibbs was right – if anyone needed to talk to him, they would just call him on his cellphone, which was perched on the wooden coffee table. And besides... who would dare walk into Gibbs' inner sanctum without knocking anyway?

Tony reached down with shaky hands to unbutton Gibbs' jeans and shove them down. He grabbed Gibbs' cock through his boxers, and Gibbs sucked in a breath. Hands were suddenly pulling at Tony's sweatpants, and Tony lifted his hips so they could be pulled all the way off.

“Funny, seems to me that we're about to have sex on the couch.” Tony quipped breathlessly as he gripped Gibbs' cock harder.

“Shut up, Tony.”

“But Gibbs-”

Gibbs' face was suddenly in front of his own, and then a tongue was being shoved into his mouth, and if Gibbs kept kissing him like this to shut him up, then Tony would have to think about talking more often. Gibbs sharply bit his lip, and Tony gasped.

Oh yeah – definitely talking more often.

Tony wrenched his lips away so he could trail little kisses down Gibbs' throat. He brought one hand up to cup the back of Gibbs' neck, and he started to lean back, pulling Gibbs with him. Unfortunately, he must have gotten the angle wrong, because instead of meeting with the cushions, Tony met with thin air, and he toppled backwards off of the couch. Gibbs let out a surprised grunt and grabbed at the edge of the coffee table, preventing himself from falling on top of Tony.

Tony was sprawled on the floor, his head inches from the coffee table. He blinked dazedly and stared at the wooden grain. His legs were still on the couch, and Gibbs was sitting awkwardly between them, his arms still outstretched in front of him. He looked down at Tony and pursed his lips, an exasperated look on his face.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Tony shook off the shock, and replied, “Admiring the fine craftsmanship of your coffee table, of course.” He flashed Gibbs a grin.

Gibbs rolled his eyes and moved off of the couch. He hauled Tony up from the floor, and suddenly Tony was plastered up against Gibbs.

“So, couch sex is a no go?”

Gibbs snorted, and Tony was ready for the headslap. “C'mon DiNozzo – let's head upstairs before you break something.”

“I resent that, Gibbs.”

Gibbs slapped him on the ass and turned to walk away. Tony jumped, and then grinned. He quickly pulled up his sweatpants and followed Gibbs. When they got to the front hallway that led to the stairs, Tony grabbed Gibbs and pushed him up against the wall. Gibbs tilted his head up to look incredulously at Tony, who just stared back innocently.

“How about hallway sex, boss?”

Gibbs stared at him. Then a slow smile spread across his face, and he raised an eyebrow. He grabbed Tony and switched their positions, pressing Tony against the wall instead.

“I think I've found a turn-on for you, boss.” Tony waggled his eyebrows.

“I'm going to kick your ass if my back gets thrown out.”

“I don't think you'll be doing much kicking if your back is-”

Gibbs kissed him again, and Tony wondered if he could convince Gibbs to just kiss him silly instead of headslapping him from now on.

Gibbs hiked Tony's t-shirt up to his armpits. He ducked his head down to lick a nipple, and Tony shuddered. Tony shoved Gibbs' unbuttoned jeans and boxers down his hips, and Gibbs hissed in discomfort when the teeth of his zipper caught on his cock.

“Easy, Tony...” Gibbs growled, hands reaching for Tony's sweatpants again.

“Sorry, Gibbs, didn't mean to.” Tony pulled up Gibbs' head and kissed him again. Gibbs hummed into the kiss, his hand moving down to grip Tony's hard cock. Tony bucked up into Gibbs' hand, a flush rising in his face. He whimpered when Gibbs let go.

“Gibbs, what are you-”

Then Gibbs took a hold of his cock again, only this time he had his cock in hand too, and Tony moaned. He brought one hand down to join Gibbs' and together they started fisting, their cocks sliding wetly against each other.

“Thought you were gonna... fuck me, Gibbs,” Tony gasped out, throwing his head back to thunk on the wall behind him.

Gibbs let out a breathy laugh. “I wasn't about to hold you up while I pounded into your ass, Tony.”

“Aw, Gibbs... but I like it when... you pound into my ass.” Tony's chest heaved, and he let out a long moan.

“You saying you want to stop?”

Fuck no...”

“Thought not.”

Gibbs sounded entirely too controlled – why wasn't he panting like he was? Tony opened his eyes to glare half-heartedly at Gibbs. Gibbs stared back at him, that infuriating half-smile on his lips, and Tony pouted. He leaned forward and bit Gibbs' neck, hard, and Gibbs gasped, his hand tightening on their cocks. The added pressure made both of them moan, and their hands moved faster, hips forcefully grinding against each other. Christ, he was so close, so fucking close, just a couple more strokes, come on, just a little more-

“Well. This explains a lot.”

Their hands stopped, and Tony's eyes snapped open, the color draining from his face. He thought he could see Gibbs' left eyelid twitch. Slowly, they both turned their heads to find Stephanie standing in the open doorway, her head cocked to the side and a smirk playing at her lips. Her eyes lit up, and she started rummaging in her purse. “I know I have a camera phone somewhere in here...”

Tony flushed deeply, the blood draining from his cock to suffuse his face. He quickly pulled his sweatpants up as Gibbs hiked up his boxers and jeans, glaring darkly at his ex-wife.


“Relax Jethro, I'm just teasing.” Stephanie pulled her hand out of her bag and grinned widely.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Gibbs growled, a scowl darkening his features even further.

“Jethro,” Stephanie rolled her eyes. “I was in town, and I wanted to stop by.”

Tony slid a look at Gibbs and murmured out of the corner of his mouth, “Told you you should have locked the door.” Gibbs slowly turned his head to glare at Tony, and Tony studied the wood floor.

“You should listen to the man.” Stephanie quirked an eyebrow and turned to Tony. “Anthony DiNozzo, wasn't it?”

Tony looked up at Stephanie, eyes wide. “Uh, yeah.” He straightened up, and grinned. “Call me Tony.”

Gibbs ran a hand over his face and looked up at the ceiling, looking quite desperate.

“Don't look so sour, Jethro!” Stephanie stepped forward and eyed Tony. “He's a cutie.”

Gibbs' eyes snapped to her. “You should leave, Steph.”

Stephanie blinked at him. “I'm not going to steal him away.” She eyed Gibbs. “Like I said, in retrospect, this explains so much...”


“Oh fine!” Stephanie stepped closer to Tony and leaned forward to whisper conspiratorially in his ear, “Here's a hint, Tony: Jethro's spine is a major hot spot for him. If you nip at the knots just right, he'll be a pile of mush on the bed.”

Tony stared wide-eyed at Stephanie, then slyly glanced at Gibbs, who looked like he was two seconds away from banging his head against the wall. He looked back at Stephanie, and sent her a saucy grin. “Will do!”

Stephanie smiled at him and patted his cheek. “Take care of him.” She turned to Gibbs, who looked like he was vainly resisting the urge to throw her out of the house. She jabbed a finger at his chest. “And you! Don't you screw this up.” Her gaze softened. “You need someone in your life, Jethro.”

Gibbs stared at her. Then he smiled a little. “I don't intend to screw up.”

Tony paused at the implication behind Gibbs' words, and he stared at him. Gibbs stared back at him, face inscrutable. Then Tony smiled, and a light sparked in Gibbs' eyes. Stephanie stepped back and looked between them.

“You two are having a moment! This would be touching if I was actually welcomed here.”

Gibbs snorted and looked at her. “You can leave now, Steph.”

Stephanie flapped her hand impatiently at Gibbs. “Yeah yeah, I'm going.”

She turned and walked out of the door. But before the door could close all the way, she poked her head back into the house. “You know, I really wouldn't mind if you guys would let me take a couple of pictures-”

“Stephanie.” Gibbs crossed his arms.

She snorted impatiently. “Spoilsport.”


“Touché.” Stephanie gave a jaunty salute. “Take care, boys!”

Then she was gone. Tony sagged against the wall, and he bit his lip.

“Don't even think about it, Tony.”

Tony bit his lip even harder. “Think about what, boss?”

“Don't, Tony.”

Tony couldn't take it. He started laughing uncontrollably, gasping for breath and sliding down the wall. Gibbs looked down at him, a frown pulling at his mouth, but amusement lurked in his eyes. He jerked a thumb over his shoulder.

“Come on, DiNozzo. Let's go to bed.”

Tony wiped the tears from his eyes and shakily got to his feet. “On your six, boss!”

“And Tony...” Gibbs suddenly turned around and started fishing in his pocket. He pulled something out and presented it to Tony. Tony's eyes widened.

“A butt plug, Gibbs?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Abby gave it to me.”

Tony blinked. “When?”

“A couple days after she smelled the lotion on us.”

Tony stifled a laugh. “Why do you have it in your pocket?”

“Well, Tony,” Gibbs tilted his head. “I was kinda thinking that we could use it.”

Tony's eyes flashed, and he grinned wolfishly. “Sure boss, it'll keep me stretched-”

“Not for you, Tony.”

Tony stilled.

“Come again, Gibbs?”

Gibbs pursed his lips. “You heard me, DiNozzo.”

Tony blinked at the butt plug in Gibbs' hand, then he blinked up at Gibbs. He did this for a minute or so, and then a wide grin split his face, his eyes lighting up.

“Oh boy,” he breathed. “Oh boy oh boy oh boy!” He grabbed the butt plug and practically flew up the stairs, laughing joyfully. He paused at the top and looked over his shoulder at Gibbs. “What are you still doing down there, Gibbs?!” Gibbs laughed and followed Tony, taking the steps two at a time.
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ext_3440: (Default)

From: [identity profile] tejas.livejournal.com


*Wonderful*!!!! And why do I get the feeling that Tony and Stephanie are going to be getting along *just* fine? Much to Gibbs' dismay, of course. :-);-)

*LOOOOOVE* the butt plug, too. :-)

From: [identity profile] spoonyriffic.livejournal.com


I'm sure they would have traded stories, if given the chance! ;-)

Tony seemed awfully excited about it. *shifty*

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From: [identity profile] tejas.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-04-24 06:50 am (UTC) - Expand

From: [identity profile] ferneberga.livejournal.com

Loved that! Oh! to be a fly on the wall when the boys are in full swing - quite agree with Steph about taking a couple of photos of them.
And of course you could always do a third part, you know like there's never two without three...... just a suggestion

From: [identity profile] spoonyriffic.livejournal.com

It would definitely be worth it to install a few cameras... *g*

A third part will definitely be written! And maybe more than that, I don't know. *SNORT* There are just so many possibilities. ;-)

From: [identity profile] yellowvalley.livejournal.com

Fantastic! I literally choked on laughter. And I want Tony to be BFFs with Stephanie, cuz it would drive Gibbs up the wall. ;)

Gibbs and Tony having hallway!sex is something that needs to be done at some point though. Followed by.... everywhere else. :D

I could so totally see Tony instantly turning on the charm once he got over the immediate shock though!

From: [identity profile] spoonyriffic.livejournal.com

Tony's totally going to become BFFs with Stephanie, just so he can make Gibbs pop a blood vessel. :D

Yes! The rest of the house needs to be christened. *g*

I had to have Tony pour on the DiNozzo charm - he's still Tony, after all! *gg*

From: [identity profile] shayasar.livejournal.com

bwahaha!! Oh I love SNAFU!sex *giggles* When they ended up on the couch I came close to joining them cause I laughed so hard I almost fell from my chair. Oh this is priceless :)

From: [identity profile] nikitariddick.livejournal.com

OMG! I have been there!!! So literally!!! Most awesome!!!

And Tony with "I told you"

Right look and feel!!! Stephanie was so not who I was expecting but it fit so well - especially with the sex tips!!!!

*hugs* well worth the wait!!!

From: [identity profile] spoonyriffic.livejournal.com

Heee, thank you! I couldn't resist making Stephanie give Tony a few pointers when it came to pleasing Gibbs in bed. *g*

I'm glad you liked! :D

From: [identity profile] ruefull.livejournal.com

Love it just as much, if not more, than the last one! So fun and so in character, just a great read!

From: [identity profile] kaz-el.livejournal.com

Was smiling all the way through the read and loved that Abby had presented Gibbs with a toy!

I also think this could be continued, maybe another two or three parts...?

By the way, I've got just about everything Queen released. Which tracks were you listening to?

From: [identity profile] spoonyriffic.livejournal.com

Abby had to give Gibbs a "congratulations on your new hot and smexy relationship!" gift. *g*

Yes, it will be continued! I don't know how many more installments there will be, but there will be more. :D

As for Queen, I was listening to songs like "I Want It All," "Innuendo," "The Invisible Man," "Don't Stop Me Now," and "Killer Queen." Basically, their grestest hits. *loves Queen*
sinfulslasher: (Default)

From: [personal profile] sinfulslasher

GAH! Brilliant, as usual! Loved the way Tony just about instantly turned on his usual charm, that's so very much canon, he can charm his way into everyone's heart if he wants to. *pets Tony*

Of course, I gotta admit that I really like this Steph! LOL! She's a cool chick, I think she should keep in touch with Tony. You know, compare notes and all that. *evil snicker*

I do believe that you will need to revisit the boys and explore their foray into the buttplug land...and then describe in gory detail just how much of a pile of mushy goo Gibbs turns into when Tony starts nibbling on his spine... *solemn nod*

From: [identity profile] spoonyriffic.livejournal.com

Hee, thank you! Tony had to pull out the DiNozzo Charm! It's hardwired into his brain. *g*

I like this Steph too! And you know she'll totally keep in touch with Tony, so she can make Gibbs mad. :D

Oh, you know there will be more. I can guarantee it. *shifty*

From: [identity profile] milliebear.livejournal.com

Ahhhh! If you could just continue this forever, I'd be a happy person! lol.

I love how everything turns out completely awkward. I think SNAFU!sex is quickly becoming one of my favorite things to read. *g*

The whole encounter with Stephanie was just awesome and hilarious. Hee.

Excellent job, once again! And I totally would not object to more... hint, hint ;)

From: [identity profile] spoonyriffic.livejournal.com

Everyone should love SNAFU!sex! It's the best ever!

I'm glad you liked Stephanie - I had fun writing that bit. *g*

And there will be more, don't worry! Just stay tuned. *beams*

From: [identity profile] plutos-revenge.livejournal.com

Hee! Utterly wonderful! My face acutally hurts from grinning so much whlie reading this :-) You are made of awesome *g*

I loved your Stephanie so much - and really, who wouldn't want some piccies?

*runs off to re-read*

From: [identity profile] spoonyriffic.livejournal.com

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it, and that it made you grin! Am also glad that you think it merits a re-read. *gg*

From: [identity profile] green-kiwis.livejournal.com

*giggles* OMG, couch SNAFU! Just like this! Also, major props to the guys for not giving up against all odds. And to Abby and Stephanie for encouraging them!

p.s: you got a typo at the end that had me blinking along with Tony right there:
"Tony blinked at the butt plug in Gibbs' head, then he blinked up at Gibbs."

From: [identity profile] spoonyriffic.livejournal.com

Yay for couch SNAFU! Thank you! *beams*

*blinks at typo*

OMG. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That is SO FUNNY. *dies* I can't believe I didn't see this before! Can't believe no one else pointed it out either. Thanks for pointing it out! *facepalm*

The human brain is a funny thing. *SNORFLE*

EDIT: Kay, tis fixed. Heh. *g*

From: [identity profile] adnamamai.livejournal.com

“What are you still doing down there, Gibbs?!” Gibbs laughed and followed Tony, taking the steps two at a time.

If I was Gibbs, I'd be locking the door! LOL

Very good snafu!fic!

From: [identity profile] spoonyriffic.livejournal.com

He's too focused on Tony right now. ;-) *g*

Thanks so much! :D

From: [identity profile] collegeanna19.livejournal.com

*dies laughing*

That was PERFECT. Right down to the moodtheme icon. What's going on out of frame that's causing Tony to make that face, eh? ;D ;D

From: [identity profile] spoonyriffic.livejournal.com

*beams* :D

You know, I don't know! I know I've seen the episode (because I've seen every single damn episode of the show *SNORT*), but I can't remember what's happening! *brain short circuits*

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From: [identity profile] collegeanna19.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-04-25 03:29 am (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] spoonyriffic.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-04-26 03:38 am (UTC) - Expand

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luthien82: (Default)

From: [personal profile] luthien82

*claps her hand* I'm elated that someone writes this. No, that YOU are writing this! And awwww, how much do I love them get caught in the act? It's brilliant!

From: [identity profile] spoonyriffic.livejournal.com

Awww, thank you so much! :D

Gibbs was asking for it with that unlocked door of his. *shifty*

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From: [identity profile] navyvet90.livejournal.com

Oh, I loved this. What fun!
Tony on the floor and many other funny moments.
I loved how Steph handled the situation - I know I would have been too stunned to be witty and amused.
Will there be more of this hot, yummy story?

From: [identity profile] spoonyriffic.livejournal.com

Thank you so much!

I'd like to think that I would have acted like Stephanie if I had been in that situation. *g* I have no idea how I would react though, to something like that. *SNORT*

Yes, there will be! I'm planning on writing another installment either today or tomorrow. :D
ext_3277: I made this (Default)

From: [identity profile] laura-trekkie.livejournal.com

So, is Gibbs going to lock his door from now on? He certainly doesn't seem to have locked it after Stephanie left! O.o

This was hot and funny. I loved Stephanie giving Tony that tip for turning Gibbs into mush, not to mention Abby's present *vbg*.


From: [identity profile] spoonyriffic.livejournal.com

He'll lock it once he's not distracted by DiNozzo. *snorfle* :D

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it - I certainly enjoyed writing it!
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